I stole this... muah.If I were a month I would be: MayIf I were a day of the week I would be: FridayIf I were a time of day I would be: 9:30If I were a planet I would be: pluto.. so distant. (so tempted to say uranus)If I were a sea animal I would be: blow fishIf I were a direction I would be: South WestIf I were a piece of furniture I would be: comfy bowl chairIf I were a sin I would be: gluttonyIf I were an historical figure I would be: Joan of arc .. all crazy likeIf I were a liquid I would be: blue juiceIf I were a stone, I would be: a ruby.. there's no place like homeIf I were a tree, I would be: shrub.. not tall enough to be a treeIf I were a bird, I would be: a peacockIf I were a tool, I would be: a handsawIf I were a flower/plant, I would be: a daisyIf I were a kind of weather, I would be: unpredictableIf I were a mythical creature:a unicorn... hrmm... no idea.If I were a musical instrument: a saxaphoneIf I were an animal, I would be: a chinchilla.. so damn cuteIf I were a color, I would be: silverIf I were a vegetable, I would be: brocoliIf I were a sound, I would be: music... soothing saxIf I were an element, I would be: hydrogenIf I were a song, I would be: EvaporatedIf I were a movie, I would be directed by: Sofia CoppolaIf I were a book, I would be written by: Douglas CouplandIf I were a food, I would be: blueberry danishIf I were a place, I would be: Ottawa (full of hot air)If I were a material, I would be: cordoroyIf I were a scent, I would be: lavender... bah... i have no idea.If I were a religion, I would be: nothingIf I were a word, I would be: manicIf I were an object, I would be: a bookIf I were a body part I would be: an eyeIf I were a facial expression I would be: poutyIf I were a subject in school I would be: mediaIf I were a cartoon character I would be: Strong bad.. muah.If I were a shape I would be a: square.. totally.If I were a number I would be: 13If I were a letter I would be: J

my dad is great.. he means so well... its just too bad a simple lunch hour can cause so much more stress.I think i need to take a week off in August... my hands are starting to shake.I'm going to lose my mind.

Your New Beetle GLX 1.8L 2dr Hatchback 1.8L 150hp 4-cylinder turbo Base MSRP $30,200 Engine: 1.8L I-4 DOHC SMPI Turbo STD Transmission: 4-Speed Automatic $1,100 Tires: P225/45R17 H AS STD Wheels: 7J x 17" Alloy STD Heated Front Bucket Seats STD Perforated Leather Seating Surfaces STD Monotone Paint Application STD Radio: AM/FM Cassette Stereo Sound System STD Destination charge $555 Total MSRP*: $31,855 I want this. and i want to start leasing this by October. Gotta save at LEAST $2000 for it.So instead of rent I'll be paying for a car every month.So I guess this means I need to get my license. might be a good idea.*MB*

worst feeling in the world = waiting for someone to call that you know has no intention of doing so.

i'm doing it... I did up a newscast tonight... now i just need to record it.this has been the best overnight so far in a long time.... and all because it started out right.Shawn came in along with virginia, luke and chris wyss.... played some wonderful George michael - faith. Danced like fools and laughed our asses off.it was silly fun.. felt like a party at work.. or something.meaningful comments were made. and I'm so glad i have support... but i just don't know what to do. other people are so confident that i will be fine... but i need to think on my own about this one.I need him to tell me what the hell is going on.I hate this so much.career focus... career focus... career focus.*MB*

how the hell does seeing each other only once a week make it a fucking healthy relationship.I'm not your sleepover buddy.I'm not some call girl.I feel like I'm in a custody battle between me and Dave over mark.I'm not going to fight for this anymore.I'm starting to feel like its just not worth it.I fucking hate the world today... happy god damned friday.

for some reason I just felt like doing the good ole update...although nothing much has changed.Living at home has its perks.... so far not so bad.my dad is spoiling me... which i believe is only because he's glad to have me back for now and because he saw me in a really bad place a couple weeks ago... i looked like absolute shit for quite a few days.Something that I'm really starting to get sick of is people asking me how things are with mark... because i just don't know what to say. I work EVERY day... I have seen him twice since I moved...I really don't know how things are. I guess I haven't had too much time to sit and dwell. I don't know what it is between us... I wish I did but I don't think either of us know... which sucks.I went away this weekend to a party with everyone i hung out with in high school (along with a couple newbies)It is so amazing to get back together with these people and find that not much has changed and we're still the best of friends. i know that if i ever needed any one of them they would be there in a second. and I'm not kidding about EVERYONE being there. from grade 9 until almost OAC we had our own little group... Me, bryna, tara, liam, helena, neil, jay, bob, wade, dave, jim, derek, mark, mark, mike, pete and melissa (until grade11) and everyone minus melissa came out to merickville.it's been 4 years since high school finished for us and we all still keep in touch. it just made me feel so good... and made me think a lot about the past.I sat and had the longest talk with mike... and I ended up apologizing for the stupid things I did to him... I hate the way our relationship ended. He will always be the "the one that got away"... and I will always think about him no matter what. its pure cheese happening right now... but meh... my journal.. fuck you.mike was my first love... and every time a relationship goes badly he is the first person i think of. so saturday night was nice to see him. we each had our own separate matresses on the floor and we stayed up all hours giggling like kids... and pillow fighting. I just wanted to hug him.I know (i think) i would never want another relationship with him because my path is going to be very different. and socially we are different... he's too outgoing and I'd rather stay home and relax after work. I'm not a fan of the clubs.. I'd rather go to a show. well enough blabbering about that (him)Other than that I realized how shallow some people are.. but again.. no one really changed.And it seems that any liam and jenn conflict there once was.. is now gone... well... yea i guess.I'm looking forward to the next party when we all get together like that. Other than that... umm.. worked worked... umm... went to the chocolate factory... worked ...uhm...still haven't gotten unpacked and organized.ooh... got a cell phone.. its my new toy... and guess who was my first caller...Jason! hurrah!yup.bed now.. work 9 hours tomorrow...wooooooooooooooo*MB*

You're a consumer whore! And how! which rejected character are you? brought to you by QuizillaI won't deny it... money= me buying stuff.If you haven't seen this short film... check it out. its weird but funny as all hell.You're "Whats her face". You love baggypants, Avril Lavigne, and softball. You're thepity friend of the group, and don't have anyreal friends-even Thomas the Alien doesn't likeyou. You enjoy pillow fights at sleepovers andjust might be a lesbian. Which Member of Teen Girl Squad are you? brought to you by Quizilla

no matter how i feel about working 7 days a week.. i still...LOVE MY JOB.its canada day.. I'm downtown.... its air conditioned.... I'm getting paid time and 1/2. I'm listening to amazing music and working with good people. (thank god/bob for certain people leaving)I'm so happy with my room at my parents... everything is where I want it. I bought a VCR and my sister brought back my TV... I'm so set. Renovations on the hosue start this week too... thermo tub coming my way.Life is good... and getting better.*MB*

explain to me HOW a moth gets into an air-tight studio. YUCK.I'm jenn... master of the moth killing... or shooing away for now.I don't like flying bugs.. they're not easy to kill.looking forward to my alcoholic slushies with cool people tonight.*MB*

I guess it just gets better as time passes.I really don't know what to think.. but I'm not mad like I was before. I still hurt.. a lot. And I'm so scared right now.Things here at my parents are ok... for now. But... i know that we see things so differently.My moving situation sucks... It is cottage weekend.. so no one is around. And my brother doesn't seem to really want to do anything to help me... which sucks. But... It will be fine.I'm just so exausted. I want a day off... CLEAR. nothing. but it doesn't look to good right now.I'll give it a month... and then I'm outta here. Warped tour.... maybe london. I just don't want to be here right now.maybe I should start looking into jobs out west...I'm free now.*MB*

how do alcoholics do it?drank last night. drinking again tonight. it feels better.

TomorrowAnd I wanna believe you,When you tell me that it'll be ok,Ya I try to believe you,But I don'tWhen you say that it's gonna be,It always turns out to be a different way,I try to believe you,Not today, today, today, today, today...[Chorus:]I don't know how I feel,tomorrow, tomorrow,I don't know what to say,tomorrow, tomorrowIs a different dayIt's always been up to you,It's turning around,It's up to me,I'm gonna do what I have to do,just don'tGive me a little time,Leave me alone a little while,Maybe it's not too late,not today, today, today, today, today...[Chorus:]I don't know how I feel,tomorrow, tomorrow,I don't know what to say,tomorrow, tomorrowIs a different dayHey yeah yeahHey yeah yeahAnd I know I'm not ready,Hey yeah yeahHey yeah yeahMaybe tomorrowHey yeah yeahHey yeah yeah yeah yeahI'm not ready,Hey yeah yeahHey yeah yeahMaybe tomorrowAnd I wanna believe you,When you tell me that it'll be ok,Ya I try to believe you,Not today, today, today, today, today...Tomorrow it may change It's over.

Just got this comment on an earlier post: WOW! You know you've made the big time when you've been granted the legendary "MollyBean" unsubstantiated, uninformed hissy fit! I'm beaming right now. Call me immature? Please. Tell your friends the truth and how I asked you politely to call or write at least 10 times over the MONTH that I had requested and you hid like a child. Now that you have the information because I had to threaten you to get some kind of response, do you feel a little stupid? Your friends might also want to know that your living in a house that OTHER PEOPLE paid last month's rent on for NO rent and all I was asking is for you to pay for the services that YOU not me YOU used. I hope for your sake you learn to handle situations like an adult in the future without flying off the handle without having the facts, I really do. Otherwise, it's going to be a frustrating, lonely, miserable life. And no one deserves to live a life like that. Good luck. ahhhh.. how pleasant.i wonder when i threw a hissy fit? I'm still boggled on that one.I don't understand why she couldn't have just asked for the reasonable amount of 42.75 to begin with. it would have helped avoid everything.... nope... she had to try and rip us off one last time.i mean i will admit that it was a good deal what we were paying... but come on.. .she sat on her stupid ass doing nothing from the moment mark and I moved in... even if she did have a job she would usually call in sick. Why do i care? ugh. so frustrating. Oh well.. I'm at work bored anyways.So I guess I'm destined to live a miserable life with my college diploma and real job and real relationships with good people. too bad for me. too bad that i at least have a future rather than an unstable life full of drama's once a month....born to be an actress she is...too bad she never quite made it there.. or ever will. (/ hissy fit #0598309458309458)*MB*p.s. I'm legendary now? wow. I'm so honoured.

Sara is my hero. Thanks for hooking up the net again.I'm not sure what's wrong with me... I hate this state. I'm so confused about everything. It's the weekend. My sleeping sched is really messed up, and so are my emotions.no sleep makes jenn a crazy person.I'm really upset with mark, and everything to do with our relationship. I know I blow up when I get mad... its a really bad quality... but all i ask is a little respect.He came upstairs tonight just to pick a fight with me. over something I thought i asked him to drop when we were downstairs.Then we got into the fact that he throws things out that belong to me just because he sees them as garbage. For example... a couple years ago he threw out 2 pairs of shoes... just because I didn't wear them very often. It did happen a long time ago but things haven't changed very much since then.All i ask is... just to stop the same fights over and over. I offered to help us find somewhere to live because I WAS off at the beginning of the month. BUT he was so damn picky that I washed my hands of the issue.Now that we have 1 week to fdind somewhere he is scrambling and not being picky and trying to pin it on me. Well fuck that.i gave a deadline that I backed out of. but i think that I will hold true to it.But its not only these things that are making me so angry... it's also Dave.I DON'T care who mark is friends with.,... I DON'T care if they like me. I don't like him... he's obnoxious and loud and ignorant and treats women like garbage.... not my kind of guy. But if mark wants to hang out with him.. fine.. no problem. But it doesn't mean that I have to like them. Come on over.. but don't expect me to hang out.... I work weekends... I don't party... sorry.But now I'm finding out that Dave won't help US move because Mark would be moving in with me. What the crap is that?!So i think tonight i just gave up. I think I'm done caring and trying to repair all the damage. I hate saying that but I just don't know what else to do.there are so many pros and cons to moving back home ...Pro: I'd have a car to drive and would get my license a hell of a lot faster. Con: my mom is too damn anal to actually take me out oftenPro: no giant rent cheque to write every month.Con: personal space limitedPro: no more running out of toilet paper and groceriesCon: no smoking in the house, and no kittieI can still come and go as i please but I can't really have people over because we don't have anywhere to hang out really.Con: biggest one of all... mark and i would be done. through. over. because I KNOW we would never see each other and even if i did have weekends off... he would spend them with dave. He has told me him and dave have huge plans for the summer... so why would I stand in the way. I'm already pushed right into a corner anyways.The only plan i have thats solid is work all week and tuesday night drink fest fun time with shawn.*MB*p.s. i love that people have nothing better to do on a saturday night than call BOB FM to tell how much it sucks... morons.

just call me traffic girl jenn.....i realized today that i really.. i mean REALLY hate children.#1 example - the tour groups coming through work at 10am... their toothless smiles... i don't know what it is.. just pure evil.#2 calender on the wall in front of me. 3 annoying looking kids in the sun. they look like the type of kids that would run screaming and yelling in shopping malls. i hate the way they play dumb.... children are not innocent.still no internet... boooooo*MB*

Your biggest challenge isnt someone else; its the ache in your lungs, the burning in your legs, and the voice inside you that yells cant !. But you dont listen, you push harder. You hear the voice whisper can & you discover that the person you thought you were is no match for the one you really are.I'm not going to settle for any average joe;I'm not going to take whatever comes my way.I want someone who will be there for me,to love & care for me.I just want a summer romancethat takes my breath away.Tell me you'll be that for me.Just remember:No matter who brings you down,I will bring you back up.Because that's just what friends do.hold on to your best friendbecause i bet in an entire lifetimeyou won't find anybody else like themfriends will always be like "oh, you deserved better anyway." but best friends with be prank calling him at 1 am making chicken noises.When everything comes crashing down on me, I can always depend on you to lift me back up on my feet. You're amazing & I thank you for every little thing you do for me. From pissing me off, to making me laugh at nothing for 5 whole minutes, nonstop. At the end of the day I know I'll always have something to be thankful for & that's you. There are times when I need you to stop being my boyfriend & just be my best friend again & you're still able to do it. Everything you do seems to amaze me more & more everyday. You always know when something's wrong & you're always willing to just take your time & listen to me. And though at times the things I say confuse you, you still try your best to understand & help me. There are times when I know I can be the biggest pain in the ass towards you & times when I seem like I'm not giving my best to you & that I'm not listening or trying to understand you, but I do; I try my best in everything I do for you.You'll gain something & lose it after. Then you'll miss it until something better comes along.Love is always a good thing no matter how muchit hurts. Even after it`s over, even through the pain,anyone who has ever really loved will tell you that *they never regretted a second of it. no matter howmuch it hurt in the end. & if you tell me differently,i`ll just tell you that you were not truly in love."if you search your heart &listen to it's instructions you'll end up where you belong."++ boy meets worldNone made by me =)♥

things & people aren`twhat we wish they would be,or what they seem to be,they are what they are.it`s incredible the way you make me smilewhen you kissed my lips for the first time, i never wanted that feeling to go away, then you kissed them a second time, & the feeling just stayedYou don't have to worry about me not loving you tomorrowIf a girl could be in two places at onceI'd be with you tomorrow & today; beside you all the way.If the world should stop revolving & spinningslowing down to die. I'll spend the end with youuntil the world is through.don't give up on love, cause there`s always someonewho loves you, even if it's not the person you were hoping forThe smile on your face lets me know that you need me, there's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me. The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if I fall. You say it best when you say nothing at all..When there seems like there is no one left to run to in this empty world of ours, you can come to me & I'll be your shooting star. You can tell me your dreams & although I can't make them come true, I'll be there to pick up the pieces if it all falls throughHis voice is like a match ;; it sets my soul on fire each time he speaksTonight, just sitting across from you, saying nothing..you looking at me & me looking at you. For the first time in awhile I could tell you knew I was thinking about you & I knew you didn't mindI will give anything to talk to a person who will make me think about the things that scare me, the things that I find hard to talk about, & will help me see the world from another point of view.how did you know i needed someone like you in my life?follow your heart, not others.i love you cus you taught me how, i feel cus you ignited feeling in my heart that i never knew was there before, i breathe cus you give me a reason to live.his flaws are what i love most about himi remember the time, the moment, when my life changed foreverwhen friends kiss,they`re no longer friends &not yet lovers, they`resomething in between.my favorite thing is waking upeach morning & knowingthat you`re loving me.it's just a feeling i can't hide, the way i miss you when your not by my side, it's the warmth i feel when i think of you, & that happiness i get from the sweet things you do, so now i know the sweetest dreams can all come true, cause i found heaven here on earth when i found youlife wouldn't be the samewithout you & all thememories you've given memaybe i'm amazed at the way you love me all the time, maybe i'm afraid of the way i love you, maybe i'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time, & hung me on a line, maybe i'm afraid of the way i really do need you love`s complicated,full of sacrifice & compromise,but maybe thats the best part- Felicitylove isn't the thing you change,it's the thing that changes youdo you want me to tell you something really subversive? love is everything it's cracked up to be, that's why people are so cynical about it, it really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for, & the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more. sometimes you wait your whole life for some thing, & before you know it, hes standing right in front of you.remember the peopleyou meet in life & don'tever be ashamed to miss themYou can't control who you fall for. You can't stop the feelings that you have. They're just gunna come & go & who knows where it all kinda ends up. sometimes it's for the best & sometimes it's not; but either way you can't control it, none of it, sometimes you can control your mind, but your heart; never.no one realizes how withjust one glance a boy canbreak through to a girls heartall my life i thought i needed the perfect setting, the perfect opportunity, & the perfect way to tell someone i love them, but suddenly; i realized i don't need any of that cus i know it will be perfect as long as i'm saying it to youif theres anything you should do before you die, allow me to suggest something, look into someones eyes, someone who you really care about, really look at them, just look at their face, their eyes, take them in, breathe their breath into your lungs at a moment when there most happy, & i promise you, you'll never see anything more beautiful than the expression on their face, or the one on yourstrying to hide these feelingstill they disappear, but if they don't go away,maybe theres a good reasonwhy they're herealways follow your heart,no matter how crazy its decision may be,it might turn out to be thebest one you ever made& I wonder where you are, & I wonder what you do. Are you somewhere feeling lonely? Tell me how to win your heart, cause I don't have a clue. Just let me start by saying I love youPeople say "Oh no she's not in love..She's to young to love", but they don't realize what it's like for me to be looking at you..seeing the world right before my eyesYou know, I've always had this thing for eyes, especially yours. & today I finally realized why. It's cus they never lie. Even though you try to suppress your smile when we're together, your eyes let me know how happy you are to see meThe difficulty isn't to die for someonebut to find someone worth dying forLife`s like the sky, & all the people that we meet become our stars. They stay in our sky like they stay in our memory. Through the years some shine brighter then others, but none are forgotten. Even though you may not be able to see them sometimes, you still know that they`re there no matter what. he`s my brightest star, my north star, the one star that without him, I would be lost in a dark world, the one that I could never live without.I had given up, I was nevergoing to find the kind of guyI needed or wanted. Thenyou looked into my eyes &all at once I knew..it was you.The feeling of losing oneselfin somebody's arms ;yet at the same time findingoneself there ; is irreplaceable.Nothing compares to theintensity of that feeling.The odd thing about this form of communication is that your more likely to talk about nothing than something. But I just want to say, that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethingsWhat if I'd never found you? What if I never felt the love, the life, the confusion, the hurt, & the decision? What if you had never loved me for me just being me? What if I hadn't followed my heart & put up that fight? Would I still be crying & hurting inside? Definitely. Would I still be alone & without a friend to turn to? Probably. I guess what I'm trying to say is that no matter what, I'm thankful for having you. No matter what, I'm grateful for believing in you. & even though we're no longer together..I owe my life to you cus you loved me & believed in me too.Distance is only temporary, but love is a bridge in thatdistance that links us for a lifetimeWe said our goodbyes & when you were almost gone, you turned & gave me one more look, the look that said it all, everything was going to be okay..You are the single most important person in my life. One thing I have come to realize is love is not always happiness. There are tears, anger, confusion, fears, but at the same time there are smiles, laughter, joy & understanding. All of those things can happen. That's why love is such an emotional thing. You can feel so many different emotions at the same time. That's why it's so overwhelming. But I know one thing..I would not take back any single thing. Everything that has happened between us happened for some reason. & us being strong & making it through this, it only shows that our love is strong enough to last a lifetimeSchool`s still the same..there`s still that one guy that you get up & go to school for in the morning. The one with the mysterious confidence that every girl falls for. Those years of school wouldn`t have been the same without him. I wouldn`t have been the same without him.I watch the world through curious eyes & wonder up at the star filled skies & dream about wondrous things tomorrow promises to bring. I keep my secrets hopes & dreams far away on bright moonbeams & out beyond horizons far. I wish upon a shooting star. I journey to new worlds unmet with treasures undiscovered. Yet my dreams take me where rainbows are when I follow my own star.You're the strength that keeps me walking, you're the hope that keeps me trusting, you're the life to my soul you're my purpose, you're everything, & how can i stand here & not be moved by you? would you tell me how could it be any better than this?i guess nobody ever really does mean to fall in love, but it happens, & love brands itself on your brain, it's like a new street appearing overnight in the city you've lived in your whole life, the street is one way you can't turn around & get off it, it curves up ahead so that you can only see far enough to know that your heading into the unknown.None by me =)comments = love

[ wearing ] my p'j pants & my robe. =][ listening to ] Pullin' Me Back by; Chingy[ talking to ] currently not signed on <3---On Wednesday we had semester tests at school.. I took my web page design test first + i got like a 93/90 or something, so i was happy, then I took my spanish test which i was feelin' REALLY good about, but I looked up my grades on the internet + I got a D+ =/ not quite sure how that happened.. but whatever. then I stayed till about 1:30 so Amy could finish her tests then I went home & just hung out for a while cus it was really shitty out.. like raining + just blah, so I didn't go anywhere.. + I was so tired so I slept for like a hour then at like 6 or so I went out to eat with my parents then came home & opened a few presents .. I didn't even think I was going to get any cus my parents already got me my stereo for my car & had it installed, so I was suprised. but I got a white tank top, a maroon-ish colored zip up jacket + this shirt I picked out when I was shopping with my mom a while ago.. then just layed around the house & watched CSI + stuff with my mom.So I`m finally 16 !yay.I have like 2 pictures I took with lana & amy at school on wednesday.. but i'll put em on here another time..oh I do have a couple pics I took a while ago ..random .. messed with it in photoshop =]black & whitecoloredhard to see.. but I decorated my room in Christmas lights =]

Today was super boring ; just about fell asleep in almost all my classes. & even though i didn't go to school yesterday, there wasn't too much homework.. but i do have a world geography test tomorrow =( i really need to study ..spanish ;; played like 2 games geometry ;; still don't understand what we're doing. slept =) english ;; just talked about this story i didn't even read. slept =) web page design ;; we're just starting our test, & i'm really confused & have no idea what i'm doing biology ;; took notes ; like always & did a worksheet world geo. ;; played around the world for our review game. i moved a whole like 2 desks =) art ;; we're doing some kind of surreal drawing.. not really sure though since mrs kruggel never even explained it to me :| Me & Haley were going to hang out with Mitch & David tonight, but she has church later & she can't do anything before it .. so that sucks. But David keeps calling & sayin` me and Haley are bringing him & Mitch to a movie .. it's getting super annoying. </a></font></b></a>candeeheart* my school picture =)